/author enters, stage right
/author walks to podium, coughs once, blinks in the unfamiliar light
Ladies and gentlemen, so wonderful to see you all here today.
I have an announcement to make.
/author coughs, again
Kim Deal has left The Pixies and they’ve released a new song and it sounds like The Fall meets a Pixies tribute band and they are doing some shows in London and…
That is all. Thank you for your time. I shall return.
/author exits, stage left